Little Pieces
May 6 - Mwah! Goodnight! I love you. Kung nandito ka lang, ‘di lang good night kiss ‘yan :-)
May 21 - Congrats baby! Mwah!
May 23 - I love you. Goodnight.
May 30 - Good night po. Hay…
May 31. Hay. I’m sorry.
I thought the difficulty of deleting the messages was caused by a dysfunctional cellphone knob. After a while, I realized it was because of the fear of having to read through your sweet messages and then, seeing the cold ones that made me not delete those. I still cannot understand how in just a matter of days your love can fade so quickly. I cannot understand why the not so great physical distance between us should remain unconquerable for you and affect you so when it is otherwise for me. In many ways I tried to bridge that gap yet you refuse to believe it will work in the long-run. Rather, you wished that it end before “both of us get hurt”. How can you know when you haven’t tried long enough?
How can I believe you now when you’ve said you’re so sure then but weeks after you weren’t so sure anymore? How can you change your mind so fast? You said it hurt you, too. But how can I believe you if you cannot even make up your own mind?
You met me, unwhole, but at least in a semblance of a whole. Yet now you leave me in pieces again, with me trying to gather and heal myself.
I’ve said that I’m proud of my battle scars. But even the strong can get so tired, after a long, long fight. I don’t know if I can still gather the little pieces that was me.
I’m so damn tired putting up with people who can’t seem to take responsibility for the choices they made.
Leave a Reply