Pinoy Blog Machine (Beta)

The best of times… the worst of times… no matter how it seems that things will work out, there are just days when the walls appear to be caving in on you.

We are ultimately what our decisions make us to be in the here and now.  Decisions that, during then, seemed the “right” thing to do… and consequently realizing that what you thought then was justifiable and calculated, actually is a costly mistake which has become seemingly irreparable.

This… is my now.  The predicament I’m in is clear.  I have dreaded it but somehow denied what I have consciously known long before… that things would have to be confronted eventually.

I speak in abstract due to the fact that I cannot divulge what has been eating away at me for the longest time… yet, blogging about it, has given me an outlet to vent out my anxieties.

These are my most trying of times… for these are the times when I search inside myself and realize that all my strength and conviction has long gone and have no one else but my wife to seek support and consolation from.  Normally, I would shield my wife from pain and suffering… from the torment of worries and despair.  But now it is in her arms that I seek refuge and in her words that I find faith and solace.

Today… it is not I… but she… who cries… for me… for us.

I thank her.

It is in these times that I realize how fortunate I am to have found a partner, a friend, a confidant… a wife, who supports me and unconditionally loves me.

And through her strength in me, through her faith and belief in all the good there is to come in our lives… I will find the courage to right my wrongs… and to make straight what has long been bent… regardless of what consequences lay ahead and of which should be laid down on me.

I pray for guidance… for the storm has just begun…

Today… there is no way around it…

I won’t allow it.

I confront it head on… here and now.

I was very pleased to have picked a good umbrella. It was a blue one with a simple case. I bought it for 500 pesos.

Then, one day I was on a tour, I had a bright idea. I will sell the umbrella to make a profit out of it. I approached two young guys I knew from the UPCM. I talked them into buying it. I told them, you will be getting a good deal if you buy from me because I am selling it to you for 70 pesos. I told myself, wow! what a brilliant idea to sell the umbrella that way. The guy was matter-of-factly in saying, “Ok. Here’s a deal. I’ll get it for 60 pesos.” I was still very pleased with myself that I was so wise. I could easily get the same umbrella from the store I bought it from. And the guy certainly didn’t know how to bargain. You don’t bargain with a price that is just marginally lower than the original price the item is being sold. So there, I made the deal. I gave the guy the umbrella for 60 pesos and I thought I was starting to know how to earn money in the real world.

The thing is, as the guy was walking away, he said he will pay me a bit later after he is done with his shopping, that’s the only time I had this thought: “Oh my, I think I made the wrong deal. Yes, I did get a good gain with the price I sold it. But damn. I should have asked for the money first before I handed the guy the umbrella.”

So stupid. Hehehe. How could anyone forget a dream like that?