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Archive for September 6th, 2007

Apathy: The Most Cold-Hearted Murderer Of Them All (edited)

Posted by Prudence and Madness on Thursday, September 6th, 2007 @ 10:53 pm in Personal - Philippines.

During the past few days, there has been an increase in the number of posts on graduating U.P. student Cris Mendez, who allegedly died of hazing injuries during the initiation rites of a well-known fraternity. Most of the posts expressed indignation at how a fraternity can use violence to discern which individual deserved to be treated and called as a “brother” or “brod“. Many were dismayed at how the fraternity members are keeping quiet about the whole issue. And people are enraged at the doctor who had the gall to just leave Cris at Veterans Memorial Medical Center (VMMC) and disappear, while the young man slowly died.

With all these emotional posts, it was a bit of a surprise to read a post written about the young man’s death that seemed too cold for comfort.

The blogger has limited access to her site because of the number of commenters who expressed dismay at what she wrote:

the access to the previous post is now limited because there are people who keep on reading it, end up getting hurt and blame me. As if I forced them to read it. And so just so there would not be any temptation to read it, I have limited people’s access to it.

Well, it’s her right to do so. If she doesn’t want to be bothered by those whom she hurt with what she wrote, she’s entitled to put a limited access on her posts. So for now, only a few people have seen what she wrote that hurt some of those who were able to read it, which are actually friends or acquaintances of Cris Mendez.

What she didn’t know is that I have a copy of that post.

But since I do not intend that a mob go after her and wreak havoc to her site, I choose not to post the article. Not even snippets or a link to her site. There’s just too much hurt going around and I do not want to add to it. However, I want to say what I think about what she wrote. And since, I don’t think she’s open to such exchange of ideas (when actually she accuses her commenters for being close-minded on the issue of Cris Mendez but she, herself, does not want to read what they think of her post), I’ll just post my rant here.

In summary, she wrote (in Filipino) that she wasn’t at all affected by Cris Mendez’ death since she doesn’t know him that much and that she didn’t feel the impact of his existence in her life (they’re batchmates, though). She felt only a loss for a potential that he had. She felt no pity, though. Nor anger at what the fraternity members did to him.

She further explained her indifference to Cris Mendez’ plight by saying that he was partly to be blamed for it anyway because he knew even before joining the organization that there’ll be hazing. If she felt any pity, it was directed to Mendez’ family because he did not even think of them and their hardships for sending him to school when he joined the fraternity. Cris should have known better because he’s a student leader and obviously, should have a mind of his own and not be affected by peer pressure. And he didn’t seem to be concerned about fraternity-related violence at all because if he did, he wouldn’t have joined the fraternity in the first place.

The blogger also said she does not harbor any anger at all at the fraternity itself because it’s not exclusively at fault. If only nobody dared joined the fraternity, then there’ll be no one to be hazed. And after some time, the residents of that fraternity will dwindle in number because there’s nobody to recruit. Also, one cannot be mad at the fraternity exclusively because laws weren’t actually applied stringently (Did you mean to say just because laws are lax, it’s not the fault of the fraternities why the practice of hazing is proliferating? It’s like saying it’s not the fault of snatchers if they’re proliferating in a certain area in the city because there aren’t enough cops catching them).

She ended the post by saying that she’s much against hazing in all its forms and those who’re responsible for the death of Mendez should be punished. However, she said there will be no crime if there’ll be nobody willing to subject themselves to hazing, no criminals if there will be no victims.

I have already tempered the tone, but reading the original article can really hurt, especially if read by friends of Cris Mendez.

What is notable is the insensitivity of the post. I think if this is read by a family member of Mendez, it will add to his hurt. A friend of Mendez already commented that he was in tears after reading it. For someone who’s already bereft of a brother or a friend and reading a post that emphasize that Cris’ death is partly his fault and that his character is weak enough that he consented to submit himself to hazing, it will certainly hurt.

She may have all the right to say what she thinks about any issue and write it in her blog. However, she shouldn’t be surprised that people will react negatively to what she wrote. She cannot claim that she didn’t mean to hurt anyone and that she only desired to say what she thinks because merely, from the content of what she posted, anyone can derive that it’s going to hurt somebody. And for people who’re already grieving right now for the loss of a friend, classmate, or brother, it’s quite insensitive of her to give them this.

While that she is correct that she did not force anybody to read her blog, let me remind her that this is the Internet and anybody can easily find her post. A single email (or twit) can disseminate her link to various other bloggers. So before clicking on the submit or publish button, one should think more than once at how their post is going affect other people. It’s not a strict blogger/internet rule, but rather consciousness for other people’s distress.

I was struck by one of the comments in that post, though. One of her friends said that:

You can’t ask justice for someone else’s death especially if that someone decided to submit himself to the situation.

That commenter also said that he/she has begun to be annoyed by those shouting “Justice for Cris Mendez!” because hazing is already common-knowledge and that he should have expected it.

So let me see. If a woman, wearing slinky and sexy clothes walking down a dark, shadowy street, got abducted and raped, she cannot get justice for what happened to her since she seemed to be asking for it by wearing inappropriate clothes in an inappropriate place?

While that the woman may have made the unfortunate decision to put herself in such a situation, no woman deserves to get raped, no matter what the circumstances are. Even if she’s a tease, but once she says no and still somebody forced her, it’s still rape.

So, in the case of Mendez, even if he was somehow responsible for submitting himself to be in that situation in which he gave “permission” to his “brothers” to initiate him, still, he did not deserve to get killed. What he got was still unjust.
I guess it’s just right that the blogger put limited access on her blog, so that she may just post whatever she wants and only her friends, who are often in agreement with her views and who were like “oo nga tama ka diyan...” and “ako din ganyan din ang naiisip ko“, may see it. I don’t think she wants to handle dissenting views anyway. But it’s her call, as it is my right to dissent to what she wrote.

What I think is this: Cris Mendez already died and by unfortunate, but avoidable, circumstance. But that blogger killed him twice over by being apathetic to the impact of his death to his friends, acquaintances, family, and schoolmates. Admittedly, she said she’s stone cold and evil enough to be burned in hell. But I will not give her the satisfaction by affirming that to her. Rather, I’ll just hope that there aren’t more people in U.P. who thinks like her (you’re right on that, Ederic).

* * * * *

Let’s not be apathetic to this issue. Spread the word.